Release day! Tales from the Borderlands Episode 3: Catch a Ride

In what is slowly becoming a 4 month endeavor per episode for new Tales from the Borderlands episodes, today marks 8 months since the beginning, and the 3rd episode’s release in the critically acclaimed series.

I haven’t had a chance to put up a proper review for the first two episodes, but if you are a fan of the Borderlands series this is easily up your alley. The humor that has been developed in the first-person shooter series translates especially well to the Telltale Games format, and the “cell-shading” trademark also finds itself right at home.

So stay tuned, we’ll do a break-down of the series to this point either late today or tomorrow.

Movie Review: Jurassic World

I’ve been gone for a long time… almost long enough to make a child.

Didn’t make a child. Had some delicious sandwiches though.

I can remember seeing Jurassic Park in theaters with my parents as a kid, and 1993 feels like a lifetime ago… but it has been 22 years, and there’s a lot of nostalgia packed into seeing this film. In today’s world of over analyzing films and searching for meanings that aren’t there, I have good news for you, this isn’t the kind of movie that will require you to search for much more than paying for your ticket and enjoying the 124 minutes of something you’ve seen before… but with a slightly different twist.

Spoiler alert… this is in the trailer

Let me start by saying that if you haven’t seen Safety Not Guaranteed, then you need to stop reading this and come back later.

No seriously go ahead, you’ve got time.

Safety Not Guaranteed is the directorial work of Colin Trevorrow, who brings his talent to one of the biggest blockbusters (after two successful weekends) of all time. When Trevorrow was announced as director of Jurassic World, it brought on mixed feelings, how can you trust a major film like the Jurassic Park series to an Indie film pseudo-veteran?

Well obviously it’s too late to ask that question now, but Safety Not Guaranteed was a movie that truly captures your imagination, Jurassic World… well, it feels more like the continued formula of “general consumption” films that don’t really challenge viewers.

Honestly though, the Jurassic series never has been about that, and what this film represents is a throwback to an age where entertainment is the only focus, and not so much commentary (however, there are a shitload of endorsements.)

We could probably fit at least 5 more hood emblems in this shot

Now before someone jumps down my throat, yes, we could spend all day debating genetic testing and modifying the very fabric of an animal’s DNA. I can’t exactly side-step that fact, it’s the entire premise of the main “din-antagonist” otherwise known as the Indominus Rex.

However, for all the intrigue and potluck of genetic traits the Indominus seems to have packed into it… this film feels a lot more like the 90’s than it does a CGI festival. We have all of the major elements that made 90’s action great… if I may:

• Parents that are close to a divorce
• Children that switch between crying, screaming, and not really getting any character development
• A relatively faceless protagonist
• Explosions, shooting, and killing the shit out of things
• Effortless romance

Yes oversimplification at its finest I know, but the elements at play in this movie directly add up to over a billion in revenue across two weekends and the fact that dinosaurs being themselves put asses in the seats.

Believe it or not, dinosaurs weren’t all vegetarians

Yes I understand… you’ve read about 5 minutes of banter and haven’t really seen a review yet. That’s the entire point, reviews aren’t meant to ruin the plot of the movie, they’re meant to tell you why you should want to watch or not watch something that millions of dollars went into making.

Jurassic World while similar to its predecessors (via, everything goes wrong leading to people getting eaten) lends itself more to being a mystery alongside the obvious guaranteed action. If you haven’t seen the trailer by now, I will ruin one thing for you, Indominus Rex gets out.. and that alone is one of the more intriguing elements of the film.

Once Indominus gets out, we get a chance to see Chris Pratt act out what 98% of his other roles haven’t been.

In Guardians of the Galaxy, Chris Pratt pretty much plays a space crusading Andy Dwyer. His role in Jurassic World is more like a hardened man who spends all his days repairing motorcycles and living in a trailer/outhouse combination.

That’s really not far from the truth either.

However, it’s a good change of pace for the not so surprising leading man, and while it’s a pretty generic character, Pratt does a lot to bring emotion to life and keep things entertaining. It’s quite the transformation seeing the stereotypical stoner/funnyman turn into Velociraptor training version of Bryan Mills (a la Taken fame.)

With Pratt’s character Owen Grady on the scene, we instead get a murder-mystery that echoes the sentiments of the tone of the original films.

We also get to see Pratt ride along with Velociraptors on a motorcycle.

It’s hard to admit… but sadly… I have to live with this harsh reality

At the end of the day, Jurassic World gives you the performances you expect to see out of a standard action movie. Vincent D’onofrio plays super-douche bad guy #1, Bryce Dallas Howard does her best Tina Fey impression (and is unfortunately delegated to standard eye candy #1), and some kids who I’ll never remember the names of (nor will I even try to find out to reference) deliver performances that are just as cliched as action stars walking away from explosions.

Surprisingly however… that doesn’t happen in this film.

Instead, we do get a relatively formulaic movie, an action film that pretty much gives in to our base desires, and that’s to see dinosaurs and people who kick ass do interesting things for just over two hours.

Final Rating: 3.5/5.0

Jurassic World is a throwback in terms of action films and a pure entertainment driven experience. Colin Trevorrow’s first blockbuster didn’t reinvent the wheel, and while it’s formulaic in a lot of ways, there aren’t many movies that you find in a Summer season that are fun from start to finish. The ending is especially satisfying for fans of the original.

You’ll overlook the cheesy parts of this film because honestly, they’re a barely noticeable speed bump in a film that constantly goes faster than the speed limit.

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Its been too long, but as always, be careful who you bed with.

Thanks for reading, and we’ll hopefully do this again a LOT sooner.

TV Review: Walking Dead Season 5 Episode 3 “Four walls and a roof”

Tainted meat.

FULL SPOILERS to follow for the Walking Dead Season 5 Episode 3 “Four walls and a roof.”

Bob is at the mercy of the Terminus survivors… or so he thought.

After losing his leg to our favorite family of cannibals, Bob reveals that he’s been bitten. A move that should have surprised no one, and for comic fans, this one was coming a mile away. Despite knowing the parallels of Bob’s story it was still fun to watch unfold, especially as the weight of the situation fell on the Terminus crew.

Note to self: Always check for bites before eating someone in a zombie apocalypse

In what seemed like the longest monologue ever by Gareth, a continued explanation of Terminus’ and their motivations had a chance to get explored. The arrogance laced discussion was particularly brutal and sickening at points, as the the finer points of eating men vs. women got a chance to play out. While it wasn’t necessarily bad acting, it just felt like too much information.

It’s a lot more obvious than this

We get it, the Terminus crew ate people.

This time however they ate the wrong guy, and it felt good to see the entire camp freak out because of the consequences. That part makes sense, since the fever associated with the onset of becoming a bullet sponge strikes quickly and is pretty unforgiving. That makes the glossy nature of saying “we cooked it, we’re good” by Gareth feel like pretty lazy writing, since there’s absolutely nothing to prove his claim.

Regardless, the determination is that Bob would be better used as a fishing lure for Rick & crew instead of feeding a family of five.

It’ll be on special in a few days

Meanwhile, Gabriel’s church becomes the setting of unrest once Bob, Carol and Daryl all go missing in one night. Due to the nature of them disappearing immediately after setting up camp there, Sasha decides it has to be somehow related to the priest, who clearly is guilty of something. A credit to Seth Gilliam here, as the revelations surrounding his guilt are delivered in pretty dramatic fashion.

Good acting isn’t necessarily a strong point of the Walking Dead series, and Gilliam delivers a pretty convincing accord of what went down. As the newly promoted Detective Carl Grimes pointed out, events unfolded leading to someone carving a naughty message on the outside of the church. The windows also showed signs of forced entry, and as the apocalypse unfolded, Gabriel kept his behavior of always locking the church doors at night.

Ok seriously, who does his ironing?

That would have been fine if it weren’t for several parishioners trying to get in as they were chowed on by walkers. Once again, for comic readers this wasn’t much of a shock, but still made for a few good moments of actual drama. Gabriel’s actions gave him unbelievable amounts of guilt, and for a moment he believes that Rick’s crew is there to punish him for his sins.

Since it becomes quickly accepted that Gabriel isn’t out abducting master bowmen and silver haired women, attention then shifts to Abraham. So far in the TV series Abraham isn’t really that big of a character… yet. What I like the most about his involvement in this episode revolves around his relationship with Rick, or rather the lack of one to begin with.

As Bob is delivered to the church by the Terminus express, Abraham decides that keeping Eugene safe is still the #1 priority.

The future of the world’s mullets depends on it

After the fall of the prison, Abraham, Rosita and Eugene are on a desperate mission to get to Washington D.C. to finally cure the walker crisis. With Terminus delivering amputated packages, Abraham decides the time to leave is now regardless of what Rick thinks.

Abraham decides to keep his team there one more night at the insistence of Glenn. If the Terminus cannibals decide to attack, having Abraham around is a must, and Glenn & Maggie agree to go with them if they’ll stick around long enough to fight off the threat. Rick realizes he doesn’t have much say in the matter, and instead focuses on eliminating Terminus once and for all.

Rick and a small detachment decide to go after Gareth & friends (not a morning news program) and wipe out whatever is left of their group. Gareth however had different plans, and watching the church for any movement decides to approach as soon as the killing party leaves.

One problem… Rick isn’t that stupid.

Rick is such a rascal

With the cannibals now trapped inside the church and a minimum of 5 guns focused on the Terminus group, surrendering to Rick is the only option. What struck me as odd was Gareth’s plea for Rick to leave them alive, something that clearly wasn’t possible after all the shit these two parties just went through. What I don’t understand is how Gareth’s attitude could be so defiant and arrogant at every step up to this point, yet with his life on the line see him revert to a more cowardly form.

Regardless, the plea means nothing and before any additional Gareth exposition can happen, Rick’s machete puts an end to any further acts against humanity.

At least at the hands of Terminus.

Rick does some pretty metal shit

PARTING THOUGHTS:

“4 Walls and a roof” continued the trend of Season 5 being one of the more solid ones in terms of content. The biggest drawback to this episode however involved the massive amounts of meaningless exposition, particularly with Gareth and Bob as he inched ever closer to his last moments. Yes, Bob didn’t survive being bitten, nor could he survive losing a leg or finally getting a more prominent role after being almost exclusively in the background since being introduced.

Sounds about right…

The tactic is getting old, and hopefully viewers at this point people are noticing that there can’t be more than one prominent black character on this show at a time. I’m not accusing the showrunner’s of being racist, but if this hadn’t already happened multiple times throughout the show’s history then I wouldn’t be mentioning it again today.

There has to be a better way to send off characters on this show, and hopefully in time that can happen. For now however, if you see a character that hasn’t talked much all of a sudden start behaving like they’re in a Tarantino movie… you better start counting down.

Just like “Strangers” however, “4 Walls” left us with just as many questions, and now we’re faced with several major developments. The survivors are splitting up once again, with Abraham’s team (with Glenn and Maggie) are heading for D.C. Meanwhile, Daryl returns (sans Carol) and had someone else in his company, however before we could find out who that was, the episode ended.

With season 5 having been true to the comics with much of the plot ripped straight from the pages, we’re starting to enter uncharted territory as the groups split up and Daryl’s return being covered in mystery.

FINAL RATING: 3.5/5.0

“4 Walls and a roof” finally gave us some answers, but gave us just as many questions as each entry into Season 5 has so far. We sent off Bob in a story very similar to Dale’s from the comic series, and Gabriel’s origins and back-story followed the same path. The brutal killing of Terminus proved that Rick & company are just as metal as ever, but with 3 episodes down in season 5 we’re already seeing heavy doses of exposition take over like they have before in the past.

In all honesty, “4 Walls” had some decent action and the send-off for Terminus that was fitting of their lack of humanity. If the past is any indicator though, once the Walking Dead deviates into original content, we don’t always get favorable results.

Based on 3 episodes however, they’ve built more momentum for season 5 than some seasons have had throughout their prospective runs.

Thanks for reading, and as always be careful who you bed with. Comment, like and subscribe! If you didn’t like it, feel free to share your thoughts!

Game Review: Borderlands — The Pre-sequel!

Kill stuff with your butt.

Get ready for some epic standing poses

Borderlands is a first person shooter/RPG by 2K Games & Gearbox that started off on a far away planet called Pandora. The first two games revolved around groups called “Vault Hunters,” individuals that traveled to the planet in search of riches contained within… you guessed it… vaults. While the first game didn’t exactly focus on a strong story, the second game definitely did, delivered mostly on the back of the game’s antagonist Handsome Jack (voiced by Dameon Clarke.)

Handsome Jack owned Borderlands 2 in a way most villains never do, in that he’s a lot more interesting than the characters you end up playing. While you learn an awful lot about him throughout the sequel, there always felt like there was more to Jack and his motivations, and apparently the developers of the game thought that too. A brutal, calculating, and ridiculously crafty bad guy had to come from somewhere right? Well the Borderlands Pre-Sequel sought to answer those questions, as well as tie a bow on the last entry for the PS3 gaming system from this franchise.

I wonder how the graphics will get… better…

As the name would indicate, BPS is the prequel to the sequel, taking place before Borderlands 2 (BL2) but after Borderlands 1 (BL1.) While BL2 didn’t do a bad job of character backgrounds it did leave quite a bit of room for additional information. For someone who spent well over 150 hours with BL2, I was hungry for more answers and some of those came as a shock.

We come to find out that Jack is sent to Pandora to observe the planet from space aboard the Hyperion Corporation’s Helios One, a giant “H” shaped weaponized ship. In BL2 Jack had already begun drilling the planet for resources, and here we instead see a young man that’s simply a puppet for a large corporate entity. As a staple to the BL series characters are introduced with their own title screen, and Jack’s reads “In over his head,” as he takes a punch to the face. This introduction begins shortly after a new group of vault hunters is hired by Jack as the Helios station is overrun by the Dahl Corporation, a rival to resource interests on Pandora’s surface.

Pandora is totally a safe place to run a business

So right from the start we’re introduced to a character who in a short time, proves that he’s didn’t just become an asshat overnight. He’s actually redeeming, providing a distraction for our main character (of which I’ll get to in a moment) to escape to the moon of Elpis as the battle between Hyperion and Dahl ensues. It’s a far different look than even I had imagined and in a way makes Jack seem sympathetic… something that didn’t appear possible after the events in BL2.

Did it feel somewhat odd playing side by side with Jack? At first, but the depth that Dameon Clarke brings to Jack really is a talent to be appreciated. This story takes place several years before the events of BL2, and as it progresses, Jack’s trademark sarcasm begins to pick up. As the plot thickens, so does Jack’s dark side, and bit by bit you can simply hear the maniacal bad guy start to seep out. It’s a credit to Clarke because Jack starts off sounding almost innocent, and events that unfold peel off a layer closer to his inevitable turn.

In a sense you almost don’t want him to because you begin to see the various influences that lead him to becoming what he was in BL2. Without ruining the story, the vault hunters from previous entries that fought Jack seem to contribute the most to his growing mental instability. At the same time however it’s wrapped in the same humor the franchise is known for, which keeps the atmosphere of the plot from taking itself too seriously.

This is actually a pretty honest depiction…

As far as characters and classes go we’re introduced to four new playable ones. Athena (former soldier under General Knoxx from BL1), Wilhelm (Cybernetic addict and loyal Jack follower in BL2), Nisha (the future Sheriff of Lynchwood in BL2), and fan favorite, Claptrap. I’ve always been more interested in classes that have higher damage per second, and I landed on Wilhelm for my first playthrough. Previously I played the “soldier” and “commando” classes, both featured automated upgradeable turrets that eviscerated your enemies.

Wilhelm features small drone planes called Wolf & Saint that offer both equal parts damage and support. While Wolf goes out and kills the faces off living things, Saint stays behind and heals you. It’s a balancing act that takes a little getting used to but ultimately is one that requires you to think more as a player. I’ll admit that in previous entries I got a little spoiled by having turrets that killed everything, so this was actually a bit more intriguing as it related to strategy. Some of the early boss battles in particular were a bit tougher than expected, and while I still didn’t die that much I could clearly tell the difficulty was a little higher this time around.

Each character is pretty well balanced, so there’s no superior class here

An oddity however involves the main story path after finishing the first four missions. The fifth main story mission requires you to be level 12-13, and at that point in time I was only level 10. There are plenty of enemies for you to feast on to get to the required level (and plenty of side missions as well at this point) but in previous entries the story levels didn’t tend to be this far off from where you’d typically be with experience. Once again, strategy it seems is a lot more important than having the ability to run into a room and dominate the landscape. It also appears to be a tactic from the developers to explore the landscape and environment than a quick, campaign driven experience.

Part of the difficulty however is the O2 system, due to the fact that you’re on Elpis — Pandora’s moon that has no breathable oxygen. When I first read about this project I thought the idea of having to constantly gather O2 was tedious and would harm the game-play, I couldn’t have been more wrong about that.

O2 masks can be shot and disabled, causing your enemies to slowly suffocate

What initially would sound like a hindrance actually adds a survival dynamic that’s never been done in the BL franchise. Instead of freely running into battles, taking loot and killing stuff, you have to be careful in your approach. For this reason you have to be a few steps ahead of your bloodthirst, and on your map you can find O2 breathable ports. It’s not that difficult to manage these levels, and your enemies are also required to follow these rules.

Shooting their O2 barriers for example is pretty fun.

Sure seems like everyone else gets the cooler jets…

The lack of gravity felt a bit hit or miss however, mostly due to the responsiveness of other elements of the game. While it’s fun to do at first, timing your jumps and having an awareness of where you’ll land can be difficult. There are missions that require you to jump and activate items/switches in mid-air, and when required this definitely exposes a problem in the game’s programming.

In previous entries activating a prompt is pretty simple, whether it’s interacting with an NPC or item there’s virtually no delay. In BPS it’s a major shortfall, as sometimes prompts to interact just don’t come up — and when they finally do you’ll have to mash your button several times to get them to work. This can be particularly troublesome if you’re in a hotzone with various enemies trying to activate a button in a flurry of bullets. This doesn’t make the game impossible but it definitely sticks out like a sore thumb in comparison to the rest of the franchise.

Another issue with gravity involves vehicles, and their inability to make most jumps unless timed perfectly. Driving vehicles in the BL universe isn’t typically that hard, but for some reason the majority of jumps can cause you headaches if not performed perfectly. You do get an option to unlock what’s called a “Stingray” that can jump higher and makes jumping easier, but early on the 4 wheeled moon rovers will give you headaches.

That whole butt thing I started with though… that’s worth the frustration.

The power of your ass in zero gravity

While zero gravity can be frustrating, the ability to crush enemies with Super Mario-like efficiency goes from reference to full on application. BL1 & 2 both featured achievements referencing the now legendary Nintendo franchise titled “My brother is an Italian plumber” and “Definitely an Italian plumber.” These were tied into jumping on enemies and doing so until they were dead, similar to the Mario style of jumping on all his enemies to brutal efficiency. It was simply an Easter egg that happened to make its way into both games.

Never forget.

In BPS however, through jumping in mid air and then slamming down with the O2 ability, you can now use your butt for violent results. While it feels like a novelty more than a viable feature, I had a lot of fun using it on purpose, and sometimes accidentally in battle. The reason it rises above just an occasional use tactic is because it’s just as customizable as any weapon. Just like class modifications, O2 mods come with their own level of varying benefits, and the ability to smash things with your posterior is one of them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there’s plenty of people who won’t want to use this function, but as you get higher in level your ass will become it’s own brand of WMD.

When used in tandem with the new elemental cryo (freeze) ability, frozen enemies can be destroyed by your cheeks of fury. The Cryo ability is exclusive only to BPS, and joins the familiar explosive, corrosive, and fire elementals from previous entries. Cryo therefore replaces “slag” which was a BL2 staple that was effective at amplifying other damage types. Cryo is similar in that it freezes enemies in place, and damage taken while frozen is far more severe than it would be normally. It’s a fun elemental to use, and builds on the damage concept the first two games did well.

There’s death under there somewhere

PARTING THOUGHTS:

Now while I’ve played the first two Borderlands games (and accompanying DLC) that doesn’t mean I’m walking away from the Pre-Sequel with rose-tinted (or blood splattered) glasses. There’s a few things you can depend on from these titles, and that’s a high level of customization, leveling choices, and myriads of weapons to choose from. All of those elements return just like they should, and even as a last gen entry for the PS3, this game still provides quite a bit of entertainment. I finished the single player campaign after about 15 hours, and while this isn’t the grand achievement of the series (BL2 takes that honor) it’s a great way to bridge the entire series together.

Gearbox & 2K games built a story rich environment with over the top violence and a charm that is unmatched in any other IP out there. To see them successfully balance that again through 2K’s Australian affiliate was very encouraging, as the spirit of the series was still preserved despite hopping within a different branch within the same developing/publishing company. That’s the biggest thing to take away, a franchise that now has 3 entries that capture the tone and attitudes of each entry despite being interpreted by different people.

That’s not to say this game doesn’t have its faults, as even I can admit that a lot of this game is recycled. Enemies are simply redesigned versions of Pandora’s beasts and raiders, and many of the weapon designs are literally the same as they were previously. It’s easy to overlook at first, but after playing for a few hours most franchise veterans will notice the lack of creativity in enemy movements. The predictable nature of the plot’s finale (surprise, another vault) should come as a shock to none, as every single game to date finishes in one. While it doesn’t mean 2K Australia & Gearbox get a pass, it’s still understandable that this game was a last hurrah for the PS3 — it wasn’t meant to redesign the wheel.

All things considered it’s a pretty good looking wheel even now

FINAL RATING: 3.5/5.0

The Pre-Sequel does many things to fill in the gaps between Borderlands 1 & 2. For fans of the series it was a tremendous service to give another title to the rich landscape Borderlands has become known for. As the last entry for the PS3 in the series, not much was done to change the graphics, but tweaking the formula brought out new features on Pandora’s moon of Elpis. The introduction of O2 management, Cryo elemental damage and 4 brand new classes make this title an addictive experience much like its predecessors.

While I’m sad to see the PS3 sent off in general, I’m optimistic for the future of the Borderlands series. 2K Australia’s contribution to the franchise brought a (pun alert) breath of fresh air to the series, one that helped us understand the motivations behind its most evil and inventive character to date. As a fan of the series it’s a great game, but even to an unbiased individual, this is a fun game with only a few faults that are made up for in other areas.

The Pre-Sequel is all fan service, and the faithful who have been there since the beginning will get an experience worthy of tipping their hat to the PS3.

Thanks for reading, and as always, be careful who you bed with.

 

TV Review: The Walking Dead Season 5 Episode 2 “Strangers”

If you read the comics then you saw this one coming.

If not, then you saw one of the most shocking moments in the Walking Dead’s TV history.

**FULL SPOILERS to follow for The Walking Dead S5E2 “Strangers”**

Terminus is a pile of Ashes, Rick & crew are on the move, and finally for once we are getting the kind of season I’ve waited to see for 4 years.

There are a few constants in the Walking Dead universe, one of them is going to be a lot of walking. In the wake of Carol’s complete dismantling of the Terminus facility, I was expecting to see quite a bit of cardio before anything substantial happened. While initially this episode started off a bit slow (because of walking), the second half proved that for once we’re getting a show with a lot more substance the previous seasons.

As the group begins their journey away from Terminus on foot, they eventually hear screaming in the forest (forest = all of Georgia outside of Atlanta.) The screaming comes courtesy of Gabriel, a priest who had helplessly found himself on top of a rock surrounded by walkers. After hearing the screaming, Rick is content to move on but is forced by Carl to do the right thing. Apparently in the wake of being eaten, Carl rediscovered his heart of gold after being a dick for 4 consecutive seasons.

The healing power of 7 pounds of pudding.

After Rick’s “3 questions,” Gabriel reveals that he had taken shelter in his church for many months, shielding himself from the atrocities of the post-apocalyptic world. Using nothing more than the word of God and a pre-apocalypse canned food drive, Gabriel managed to survived in relative obscurity. These details seem suspicious to Rick immediately, which leads to him not trusting Gabriel any further than he can throw him. Regardless the group presses on to find Gabriel’s church, and with knowledge of food nearby a new safe-haven appears to be on the horizon.

Finding the food and retrieving it however is an entirely different matter. Early promos showed a group of water-logged walkers looking particularly decayed, and it was here that we finally saw why. The canned food drive Gabriel’s church was running were all going to a location nearby that was now overrun by walkers. Despite only being a few months, the building had a large hole in the ceiling, which lead to an equally large hole forming all the way through to the basement. There’s plenty of zombies that die every week, but these zombies were particularly disgusting.

Who doesn’t remember this handsome fella from Season 2?

While the Walking Dead has done a phenomenal job of make-up, the horror aspect of the zombies doesn’t always get used. All too often we see zombies dispatched early, but the close quarters and the high levels of decay due to the water make these zombies truly terrifying. With few options and a large cache of food at stake, the search party decides to take their chances in waist-high murky water.

As Michonne, Rick, Bob and Sasha go to work, Gabriel escapes to the other side of the flooded basement. One particular walker catches his eye, and shortly before their trip a photo is shown with Gabriel and a young woman with very distinguishable glasses. While little is said of what relationship these two had, it was apparent that her death was somehow related to Gabriel’s ability to survive. In a moment of pure dread and guilt, he sacrifices himself to his fallen friend.

True to form however, Rick and company dispatch the spongey walkers and prevent Gabriel from becoming dinner. Bob however gets pulled underwater next to a noticeable area with air bubbles (zombies breathe?) and manages to fight off who i can only assume is zombie Aquaman. It is here that Bob immediately takes on a different body language, says he’s ok, despite the fact that throughout the episode he became a victim to one of the worst plot devices this show is guilty of.

You remember T-Dog right?

Similar to almost any other supporting character that suddenly gets more dialogue, you knew that something bad was going to happen to Bob. You don’t see any visible wounds but then again, Bob is always wearing long sleeves and phantom bites just have a pesky way of showing up where they have no business being. Immediately I saw this trend emerging as the episode unfolded, and it’s a bit lazy because we’ve seen it happen already with characters like T-Dog, Axel, and even Dale to an extent. Long story short, if you see an ancillary character start to say more than a few sentences, then you probably should get used to not seeing them around much longer.

This wouldn’t have been such a point of contention for me if it hadn’t been for the obvious build up throughout the early portions of the episode. Bob and Sasha are beginning to evolve in their relationship together, apparently getting Tyrese’s blessing without even asking for it. Things just seemed to go way too well for Bob after a few near misses, and when good things happen, someone is going to die.

As far as redeeming this bit of go-to plot driving devices, at least someone finally decided to mention Beth again.

At least someone is looking for her…

I know I’ve said it in back to back weeks now, but seriously, how is Beth being kidnapped by unknown assailants not a topic of concern for the entire group? If organized individuals with working cars are driving around kidnapping people, that definitely is a major problem. I’m not sure if Daryl is just ashamed that he’s the one that let her get taken, but if he’s just afraid to admit it then that’s pretty stupid.

Well the opportunity to address it finally comes up through an equally confusing story with Carol. Throughout “Strangers” Daryl & Carol share some screen time, as Daryl tries to figure out what happened to his pseudo romantic interest when she was out on her own. After having been cast out from the group, Carol clearly had a rough time in solitude and now being accepted again is a tough pill to swallow. Despite Daryl putting on the swagger, she won’t give him the answers he wants, leading to her later trying to bolt during the middle of the night.

During this late night escape attempt, Daryl uses his ability to track seemingly everything to fire her while she hotwires a car the group previously found. Daryl ones again tries to get answers, but once again is met with a lack of cooperation from Carol. Before they can get very far in conversation, Daryl sees the car that abducted Beth as it speeds past them. It was a moment I was hoping would happen sooner, and I felt sorry for whoever Daryl was about to find… he always gets his kill.

80% of the world is covered by water, the rest is covered by Daryl Dixon

As “Strangers” winds down it’s clear that Bob is showing the symptoms of being bitten. He’s displaying cold sweats and fever, and decides to take a late night stroll as he reflects on his life. Before Bob gets a chance to experience his “Lifetime made for TV moment” and go quietly in the night, he is knocked out by a silhouetted individual.

As he comes to, Bob is surrounded by familiar faces — his former Terminus captors.

Poor Bob.

Bob comes to in a dazed state of affairs, and the first face he sees i the not so welcoming one of Terminus’ number one douche Gareth. The Walking Dead’s biggest asshole to date vows to get revenge for the destruction of his fellow cannibals’ home, and breaks some pretty bad news Bob.

He’s the new beef, and he’s what’s for dinner.

Ripping a scene straight from the comic series, Bob unfortunately gets to see as the Terminus crew feast upon what used to be his left leg. It’s an extremely shocking and bold move from showrunner Scott Gimple, and displays the brutality that the comics have become known for during their award winning run. It’s critically encouraging because for the longest time the TV show refused to go to the darkness that made its counterpart so popular.

Now that we’ve seen one of the more brutal elements of the comic finally get used, you have to wonder what else the show’s producers will be willing to use. As far as the new season goes, we have a LOT to look forward to if they stay close to what happens in a similar story arch from the same period in the comics.

It was getting too dark so here’s Daryl with a kitty.

FINAL RATING: 4.25/5.0

“Strangers” got us involved in some pretty heavy shit, and for the first time in quite a while, viewers have many questions they don’t know the answers to.

What did Gabriel do to survive? Where will Carol & Daryl’s pursuit of Beth’s kidnappers take them ? What will become of Bob and his Terminus captors?

It’s a wild-card that should bring a lot of enthusiasm to those faithful to the source material, and proves that Walking Dead doesn’t need explosions and gunshots to keep things interesting. While it still returned to plot devices that have already been used many times before, it’s also an episode that set groundwork for many big moments yet to happen.

Get ready, it’s about to be a bumpy ride.

Thanks for reading, and as always, be careful who you bed with.

Review: Walking Dead Season 5 Episode 1 “No Sanctuary”

Finally the Walking Dead that comic fans have waited to see for 4 years.

WARNING: Full Spoilers for “No Sanctuary” follow below

The Walking Dead series started off on a high note all the way back to Season 1, Episode 1 “All that remains.” An episode directed by now the now jettisoned Frank Darabont, faithfully followed the spirit of the original first few issues of Robert Kirkman’s now legendary comic run. While the tone of the show has always been somewhat bleak and occasionally dark, it always lacked a major aspect that’s prevalent in the black & white comic series of the same name.

Institutional evil.

Probably a little more evil…

Season 4 spent the majority of its time building up to Terminus, the last bastion of hope after Rick Grimes and company lose their occasionally safe prison outpost. So long as the group (which split up into three smaller groups) followed the train tracks post-Governor Part 2 attack, they’d find their way to another safe-haven. It’s no surprise that all of them wound up there, except for Beth.

You remember Beth right?

Well all wrapped up in one little bow, Season 4’s finale finally brought the crew back together into a very welcoming abandoned train car within Terminus. Which prompted one of the most legendary lines from the series to this point… at least in the DVD/Blu-ray extras. Instead we got an edited line that just didn’t quite sound all that impressive.

“They’re farkin with the wrong people. Teehee.”

So back to that whole institutional evil thing, Season 5 starts us off with a trough, a relatively sterile warehouse operation, and 7-8 gentlemen, who are finally shown that the Terminus crew indeed are cannibals. In what was no surprise for comic readers (and anyone with a pulse watching the TV show) that the introduction of cannibalism was going to inevitably happen. We knew something was “off” about Terminus having large quantities of “special mystery meat,” and honestly I was expecting a little bit more build up, but the nonchalant brutality of slitting human throats like they were animals definitely set the tone early here.

The only thing that bothered me about show-runner Scott Gimple’s direction (other than making it seem like Glen was going to die in all Season 5 trailers … he didn’t) was the story-telling of how exactly Terminus became what it was. TWD routinely uses flashbacks, and it was an early staple of the first season, but for some reason here they decided to use them as blatant book-ends for the beginning and end of the episode. As a viewer I thought it was pretty lazy, as obvious slides say “THEN” and “NOW” as if the more than 17.3 million people watching it didn’t know what a flashback was. Now these flashbacks were essential in telling us why Terminus became what it was, simply a safe-haven at one point but its inhabitants were invaded and driven postal by “Mad-Max era” raiders.

Ironically enough, being a Raiders fan makes one equally as crazy

However it shouldn’t take you long to assume cannibals don’t just spring up overnight like a new Starbucks. Regardless, these bits of information were good to have and made Gareth’s (leader of Terminus) question about inventory counts appear lax in comparison to throat slitting. The individuals running terminus were so used to killing people for food that these kinds of interactions on the shop floor of death resembled more of an inter-office discussion on TPS reports.

Just in time to save Rick & co. however was the reappearance of Tyrese and the recently exiled Carol. After finding a scout for Terminus and narrowly avoiding a herd, Carol sets off to see exactly what was happening to her friends. In what was one of the silliest displays of explosions, Carol manages to hit a propane tank with a rifle from a few hundred yards away, then sets half of Terminus ablaze with a bottle rocket.

Somehow between seasons, Carol became a John Rambo/MacGuyver hybrid all while wearing a poncho.

Stallone just wore it better…

Borrowing the blood & guts shield Rick used in season 1, Carol infiltrates Terminus with the herd, just in time to see the entire compound compromised. The effects were well done, and just like the entire series, producer and make-up artist Greg Nicotero made the walkers look authentic as ever. Many were sporting patches of fire on them as we got a first person view of the mess Carol had caused. In that regard, the notoriously slow-paced program got a shot of adrenaline between this sequence and the previously mentioned slit throats.

While Carol makes the rounds through Terminus (finding some of the group’s essential items) Tyrese is left as babysitter with Judith. His part of the season opener was relatively silly, as he’s lost his brute killing edge after losing two young girls from their group in season 4. His role in the episode was brief, but predictable, as he refuses to kill again until he’s ultimately forced to when Judith’s life is put in clear danger. The “hide Tyrese and make you think he’s dead” trick was used just like it was in season 4, and he emerges victorious as he rediscovers his Hulk rage. It seemed like an odd thing to only utilize for one episode, but ultimately it provided a few moments of action in a premiere full of plenty.

Spoiler: It didn’t actually go down this way.

Eventually the entire crew makes it out alive due to a perfectly placed blanket over the barb-wired fence on the outskirts of Terminus. Once they reclaim the weapons cache Rick had left behind in the Season 4 finale, Carol shows up to reunite with the group that had cast her out only a handful of episodes earlier. Up until the last 10 minutes of the episode no one really had much “acting” to do, and to see Daryl & Rick’s reaction to Carol (particularly Daryl’s) was a pretty heartfelt moment despite few words being spoken.

It seems that to be forgiven, one only has to murder the majority of a small town.

This used to be a peaceful town, until Carol happened.

All in all, Season 5 of Walking Dead began with the highest point it has since episode 1. We were quickly reminded that brutality does indeed live in the post-apocalyptic world, and more importantly, Rick’s entire crew showed how battle tested they continue to be. There were a few moments that didn’t need to happen, mostly “the cure” that Eugene was forced to tell involving cringe-worthy dialogue that was hard to get through (which to explain in full detail would ruin his story.) In the broad scheme of the episode however, this was a moment easily glossed over by explosions, muzzle fire, and all of Terminus becoming a pile of ashes.

A few things to keep in mind however involve the survivors that the group decided not to go back and kill. Even though many of Terminus’ group came to unsightly ends, many of them are still shown interacting with Rick’s group around a camp-fire later on. So to expect that this season is completely done with Terminus simply isn’t true, and the future of this season proves to be treacherous. The crew is once again out in the open, and after all the things Rick himself has had to deal with, proves to be the most brutal season so far.

FINAL VERDICT: 3.75/5.0

“No Sanctuary” was the start that The Walking Dead season 5 desperately needed to have happen. While Season 4 had plenty of action, the lulls could put a coked out red bull addict to sleep. Certain elements of the episode weren’t that impressive, but the overall action and progression of this episode makes the Season 5 opener one of the more memorable episodes in the show’s history.

Thanks for reading, and as always, be careful who you bed with.

A few thoughts on the Ghostbusters 3/Reboot:

UPDATE 10/8/14 10:00PM CST: Paul Feig confirms it will be a reboot and not involve the first two movies. The original characters won’t be involved with Feig calling cameos “an open door.” This was written without having that knowledge in mind, Feig also comments that an all female cast is a possibility confirming early rumors surrounding the rebooted franchise.

—

As a Ghosthead since I was three years old, this tidbit of information was pretty hard to not want to discuss.

So naturally… I tried my best to be subjective about a property I’ve loved more than a human baby. It’s hard to be, but for the sake of trying to find clarity, here are a few thoughts about the upcoming film and Ghostbusters in general.

—

If there’s one thing the internet doesn’t need help with, that’s taking information with no verifiable sources and immediately accepting it as truth. Do the chances of female Ghostbusters making it to the big screen now feel like a 100% possibility? Absolutely, and because of Feig and writer Katie Dippold being attached I think it’s entirely feasible to see something like this happen:

Why is there smoke everywhere?

Now “like this” is what I think is important to realize, because I don’t think there’s many people out there that don’t want Ghostbusters to be a gender neutral noun. It goes without saying that Feig will make that happen, but having the entire cast played by women won’t. In a day and age where representation, market demographics, and Hollywood’s #1 priority MONEY are at stake, they’ll want the audience to be as big as possible. So to those that have their briefs in a bunch, try to grab a paper bag and keep breathing.

You don’t need to match the jacket and bald spot however

In terms of comedy, that’s really one thing that I could see myself having a problem with as Ghostbusters gets closer to having another entry into the series. Modern comedies often don’t keep my attention, and that’s not because they don’t have their laughs, but it has more to do with an obsession over one-liners and lack of actual character development. To be fair, I think modern labels have thrown Ghostbusters under the “comedy” banner, because now it makes us laugh, but from an entertainment standpoint it’s far much more than that.

Ghostbusters built an entire world around its characters and involved some pretty heavy handed shit. Beyond just cinematography Ghostbusters had a pretty dark tone, involving music that definitely classified under ominous, but also the occult, vengeful ghosts and dreadful 80’s fashion.

Part carpet, part sweater, ALL 80’s

It’s the kind of care you just don’t see in today’s movies, let alone comedies, and the creativity behind Harold Ramis, Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray and Ivan Reitman are the only reason why we have the masterpiece we do now. I think it’s a complete misrepresentation to call Ghostbusters a comedy, because it’s a story that had a great foundation, and didn’t just live joke to joke. Modern comedies simply don’t have time for building rich character driven films and the Ray Stantz’ quote “No! Nobody ever made them like this!” couldn’t be any more true today than it was in 1984.

Ghostbusters is packed to the gills with great characters, larger than life back-drops, and the strength of improvisational geniuses behind it. It was also the first of its kind, and anything a reboot would present would only be hoping to imitate it. It’s been 30 years and many comedies have tried to be as funny, and nothing will come close, which is something I think anyone attached to the product has to realize.

I’m actually happy THIS one didn’t happen

As a fan of the property I know nothing will ever top the original, and that goes without saying for a lot of films. As a realist, I understand that Ghostbusters is a property that has a likelihood of making money, even now. What I hope for Ghostbusters is to keep the focus as strong as it was, and that’s the idea that people coming together against impossible odds can still accomplish great things, even in the face of insurmountable foes.

It’s not just about the comedy.

Thanks for reading, and as always, be careful who you bed with.

Finds from the bargain bin: Joel Schumacher’s Blood Creek (2009)

I’m no stranger when it comes to the horror movie genre and much of my personal library makes that pretty obvious. I tend to browse the horror section of my local media store Pre-Played more often than I search for games (just barely mind you) and I’ve found many favorites there. My fiancé often accompanies me on these endeavors as they often have good deals on movies they have an over-stock of — which lead to her finding some I’d otherwise never see.

This time it was Joel Schumacher’s Blood Creek.

Almost all directors take up more independently run efforts in their spare time, unless you’re Christopher Nolan and decide to make ‘Inception’ when you get bored. Joel Schumacher’s Blood Creek however isn’t what I expected, and at $2.99 it was a gamble that often greets me when I explore the horror aisle. It almost made up for Schumacher’s cinematic abortions that were apparently good enough to be Batman movies…almost.

Never forget

Now I’ve made mistakes there many times, often buying movies with flashy case art and actors that I recognize, but this one just felt different. The box-art wasn’t that impressive, which is normally a red flag, but then I noticed the names Henry Cavill, Dominic Purcell, and Magneto himself, Michael Fassbender. To say the least was my interest was piqued, and the premise of the film is actually just enough to get you on the hook. From IMDB.com:

A man and his brother on a mission of revenge become trapped in a harrowing occult experiment dating back to the Third Reich.

So long story short, you’re going to get into something that SOUNDS interesting but you’ll also get 90 minutes of thoroughbred manmeat such as Cavill, Purcell and Fassbender. Then you go and throw Nazis, the Occult, and blood sacrifice into the mix, you already had my interest but now you have my attention.

…shockingly still no academy award

THE GOOD

Now Nazis and the Occult aren’t exactly new concepts to many, however the sheer lack of this subject matter being represented in film is a little surprising. It’s an early strength that builds a creepy mythos involving Nordic travel to the Americas and the accompanying rune-stones they brought with them. Rune-stones are often used in tandem with fantasy themed endeavors, and their presence in this film fits with the relic-hunting obsessions Nazis had in their quest for world dominance. The stones in this case had been on the radar of Heinrich Himmler, director of the Nazi SS, and is the main reason why Richard Wirth (Fassbender) travels to a West Virginia farm. Initially Wirth is presented as a German professor, but it quickly becomes known that he’s actually a Nazi Occultist tasked with discovering how to harness the Runes’ power.

The role the stones play in Himmler’s plans aren’t immediately told, and actually helps keep this film on the rails throughout (to tell you what they do here would ruin the film.) A major issue you get with horror films are notoriously slow starts that become encumbered with so much information that the premise of the film just falls apart. Blood Creek doesn’t make this mistake, instead using small bits of background that help quickly build the characters that we end up focusing on. As an independent project this is pretty damn important, mostly because if you look at the pacing Schumacher builds throughout, there’s barely time for anything else, which I’ll point out later.

Little known fact: Americans beat the Nazis while entirely shirtless

It’s actually refreshing to see a quickly developing independent film, as the horror genre often can’t do it without a heavy dose of exposition. It’s not often that my attention is held throughout an entire horror movie either, and a lot of that has to do with not being inundated with useless information. I can’t remember how many times I’ve heard an awful monologue from a character that I care nothing about, only to see that character die in a predictable fashion mere moments later.

He’s just trying to get home to his wife and kids honey

Instead with Blood Creek we’re thrown into an impossible situation that two brothers must solve before the end of the world happens. You don’t get meaningless dialogue to fill time, and it’s one of those things that just doesn’t happen often in this genre.

The presentation of Wirth’s transformation as the main antagonist is also slowly introduced and isn’t completely thrown at viewers. It’s important because all too often in horror films you see the monster or creature right away, and by keeping this under wraps for a majority of the film it actually keeps the focus on other elements of story-telling instead.

THE BAD

Now I did cringe a bit at times just because some elements of this film can get a little confusing. Yes, I realize I said not long ago other horror films make the crucial error of information overload, but what I’m referring to here involves two major things. The disappearance of Evan Marshall (Purcell) and his brother Victor’s (Cavill) related guilt/strained personal relationships because of it. These are major plot devices that get completely glazed over and if you’re not paying close attention you’ll literally miss them all in the beginning. If this were a bigger budget production (that was longer than 90 minutes), then I’m sure these elements could have been expanded a bit more.

If you’re casually watching this film for the first time (like me) it will become instantly confusing and you won’t really catch back up with either element until an argument between the two brothers later in the film. It leads to some of the poorest acting I’ve ever seen as Cavill does his best to make the inevitable confrontation look genuine, but his natural English accent pokes through as he yells. Since Purcell doesn’t exactly hit the cover off the ball from a dramatic acting standpoint, this just makes the entire segment fall a little flat. Despite being the low point of the movie it’s barely a few minutes of screen time, and you’re then thrown directly back into the quickly approaching showdown between the brothers and their other-worldly encounters.

The other low point of the film is the CGI, which for an indie venture isn’t exactly a surprise, but if I didn’t point it out I’m sure someone would complain about it. The special effects are actually pretty solid outside of the CGI, but Fassbender’s character by default requires him to have a heavy amount of computer aided effects near the latter half of the film. Personally I’m used to seeing effects far worse than the ones I saw during the end of Blood Creek, but to the average viewer it will still look obvious.

He’s in a lot of pain, but you will be too trying to get through these scenes

THE BOTTOM LINE

For $2.99 this was a film that pleasantly surprised me and broke the notion that low budget horror doesn’t often deliver. While Blood Creek isn’t going to get a Steel-book release any time soon, it’s a little known treasure that managed to grab some serious acting talent and put it to good use. Fassbender has been an amazing actor in any role thrown at him, and while he’s a bit underutilized here, his moments on screen are fantastic. Cavill and Purcell aren’t tasked with much in this film, but I’ve seen simple action screwed up before, and it’s a testament to the experience Schumacher has as a director. While I’m sure Blood Creek was a combination of a good idea and Union mandated insurance requirements, it manages to create a mythos and story worth watching.

The biggest thing I’m disappointed by is that this film actually sets itself up for sequels, and I’ve seen far more money thrown at less worthwhile endeavors. For that I leave my enthusiasm with only one film, as I doubt we’ll ever see a second entry in this series, and if we did it definitely wouldn’t feature the talent it had the first time around. If you do manage to find Blood Creek in a bargain bin somewhere, definitely pick it up, as it’s a breath of fresh air in a genre dominated by mediocrity.

Thanks for reading and as always, be careful who you bed with.

Downloadable Content: I hate you… kinda

A lot has changed in just 30 years of video gaming. When a video game developer used to release their new intellectual property, you’d get a finished product with content you could unlock if you knew how. Extra characters, secret levels, cheat codes, debug modes… you name it, it was all there and it was just the right combination of buttons to take you to the promised land.

Now we are seeing companies worried about deadlines, profit margins and annual entries. Yes these are not new or foreign concepts to many, but it’s shaped the industry in ways that it won’t ever go back. Early gaming concepts like share-ware for were demos that featured an option to pay for a full version of the game. Now we’re getting whole games that are pretty much a hopped up version of this early publishing tool.

Jesus… now you can create your own?

The dawn of DLC (downloadable content) didn’t start in the version that we’ve come to know it now. Instead, it found its way through lanlines and cable connections so that you could get access to games without having to leave your home. As the internet grew at the torrid pace that it eventually did however, it wasn’t long before taking this idea took to the digital  marketplace occurred. Now we’ve got companies like Telltale Games pounding this idea into the ground with success on an annual basis.

Dedicated readers will know I’m still salty over their business model.

DLC however in the form that it finally ended up being didn’t come full circle until the late 90’s, as the failed Sega Dreamcast would offer tiny game add-ons with a tremendously low-powered internet connection. We’re talking so low-powered that porn just wasn’t physically possible.

I don’t think I need to explain this

With the internet as a driving force more consumers were able to throw their money around than ever before. Companies like Zynga, Microsoft and Sony found their ways to jump at this chance, with Zynga being an early juggernaut in the digital money chase. Offering excruciatingly simple games with real-time limitations, offering the ability to purchase credits, items, and additional content to enhance your experience. To those who had money, congratulations, you’ve conquered casual unskilled gaming, to everyone else, you were at the highest podium of online jackassery.

How this became a gaming staple however is obvious, companies knew they could not only extend their content, but people would spend money to not have to do things teenage Asians kids do so well. It’s now a major model of almost any RPG-based game, and even some of the shittiest games like Aliens: Colonial Marines somehow got DLC cranked out despite not having the original programming correct first.

Wait a second, this sex-doll has an extra hole

I don’t think that it really becomes much of a surprise that market behavior such as this was allowed to happen. Gamers up until the introduction of The Big Bang Theory weren’t segmented into a truly marketable group. In today’s world gamers are not only targeted like everyone else, but we eat up stupid things like different character skins, additional multiplayer maps, and lets not forget the option to eviscerate the competition with weapons we spent no time trying to earn.

It’s a difficult position to be in as a gamer, because not only do I want the option to kill the shit out of things, but I also don’t want to dedicate months of my life for that sword with a fancier hilt than the one I do now. Unfortunately… I’ve spent way too much time doing that in my previous MMO experiences.

There’s no time for sex! I need those special boots with a purple aura!

Now don’t think for a second that I think of myself as a victim here because I clearly do not think so. As a credit-card toting consumer, I’ve already spent way too much for things that if I had only waited for I would save plenty of money. The same rings true for pretty much anything gaming these days, because of the previously mentioned annual installments of most genres.

Sure you could pay $59.99 for a brand new game, but if you wait literally 5-7 months after release, you could easily save 35-60% on a game, even more so if you’re ok with buying it used. With some games this is an easily achievable practice; with my Assassin’s Creed obsession however… there’s no such thing as self-control. The DLC arrangements however often debut not long after the initial release of the games, and the price drop is even further guaranteed when new bundles come out featuring them.

This is just getting silly

In the end it all comes down to how patient a person you are, but just remember that patience doesn’t always pay dividends. If you’re a trophy hunter or enjoy the online multiplayer experience, any game with online support WILL eventually shut down. Sports games are the worst when it comes to this, while other titles can survive online indefinitely. X-Box live for example, allows many of these online experiences to continue due to paid subscriptions. Playstation users however, didn’t have that luxury with the previous generation, the PS4 may inevitably change that.

Overall though DLC is a lazy way to squeeze more money out of a segment of consumers that marketers have spent decades trying to figure out. The only reason why it has continued to happen with an increasing frequency is because we’ve allowed it to happen, and we’ve continued to support it. As much as I hate the idea of spending more money for a game that I ALREADY bought, it still adds to depth to a gaming experience.

Just do yourself a few favors, support the studios that do a good job for the core game (like Bethesda for example) and don’t reward others small-time for cash grabs (Little Big Planet I’m looking at you.)

…and as always, be careful who you bed with.

Movie Review – Guardians of the Galaxy:

No raccoons or tree creatures were hurt during the filming of this movie.

Now that we’ve got that important fact out of the way, let me first start off by saying that a month off has no excuse. However, it’s been a whole damn month and I feel bad.

No overweight bloggers felt bad during the writing of this entry for not blogging for a month.

Epic stances: Engage.

Let me start by saying that I couldn’t believe the guy behind Tromeo and Juliet had the ability to direct a good movie (and I liked Slither as well, just wanted to reference a bad film.) James Gunn had quite a tall order putting together a screenplay for what is admittedly one of the lesser known Marvel properties out there. Now before someone gets their nerd panties in an uproar, it’s the truth, I only knew about Rocket Raccoon before this movie because I like animals more than humans.

For this reason GoTG is a risky investment on Marvel Studio’s part, largely because it’s hard to believe that enough people know about the property to begin with.  This seems like it should be a hurdle but ultimately it isn’t; while some elements seem a tad rushed, there are too many redeeming factors that will keep your attention throughout. The film has performed extremely well out the gate and it will already have a sequel on July 28th, 2017.

You can kinda see the Raccoon at the bottom there…

GoTG revolves around an ensemble cast, anchored by Chris Pratt of Parks and Rec fame. His acting chops seem relatively untested, but after movies like Moneyball and Zero Dark Thirty, Pratt settles in to a role that his television persona of Andy Dwyer would be proud of. Pratt plays the sarcastic Peter Quill (or ‘Starlord’… that he prefers) who after being’alien’ abducted as a child has turned into an inter-galactic treasure hunter. The opening sequence of the film begins shortly after the death of his terminally ill mother, and we are tossed right into action not long after that.

One of the biggest distinguishing features of this film (and every preview) is the soundtrack. Tyler Bates comprised the film’s original score, but a majority of the film sampled material from the 1970’s and 80’s. Blue Swede’s “Hooked on a Feeling” was mixed into the original trailer for the movie, and helps cut through some of the heavy-handed action that Superhero movies are known for.

The mix-tape was given to Quill by his mother

There are hundreds of synopses out there however so I’ll spare you the details on things you could easily find on Wikipedia. GoTG is a strong film because it  doesn’t take itself too seriously. My parting thoughts on the film revolved around how much fun the experience was. Guardians features well placed humor that doesn’t feel forced and remains consistent even as the plot thickens. One of the consistent humor devices involves Quill’s usage of metaphors, which are perceived by his alien companions literally. These jokes are very well done and catch you by surprise as they’re first used, so pay close attention, the laughs are going to be there.

This comes as a major deviation from most Marvel movies, while humor is used in almost every property so far, the sarcastic and witty presentation of GoTG is unique only to itself. Rocket Raccoon and Groot (voice acted by Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel respectively) are friends/mercenaries and are the major comedy relief of this movie. Groot is a humanoid-tree-creature that only says three words (and I’ve already given you one of them) and Rocket seems to understand what his friend says despite simple fluctuations in the limited vocabulary. Rocket is a genetically altered raccoon, who is hyper-violent and extremely talented with electronics.

Despite only saying those three words, Groot is a scene stealer with his Raccoon companion

Cooper’s voice acting actually delivers a lot better than I gave it credit for. Going into the film I didn’t know what to expect out of it, but he gives a lot of depth to the character. Raccoons are supposed to be cute, and the CGI model of Rocket definitely captures that. The character itself though dominates the screen and while a talking raccoon is a stretch for a lot of people, after the first 5 minutes you’ll never question it again.

The remainder of the main cast is rounded out by the talented Zoe Saldana (as Gamora) and Dave Bautista (as Drax)  of WWE fame. Saldana is a solid casting choice and has been consistent throughout her acting career. In that sense you know what you’re going to get from her, she’s been well tested in blockbusters like Star Trek and Avatar, and her abilities are put on display here.

Bautista however, is a newcomer to acting, and his ability will surprise many movie-goers. Despite not having many credits to his name, Bautista really catches your attention (and not just because of his crazy tattoo job). He rounds out the main cast of the movie, and there’s a pretty decent amount of chemistry among them despite almost half of them being entirely CGI.

I’d be angry too if I had no nipples…maybe

While the cast is a pleasant surprise for this film, the villains are pretty cut and dry. Lee Pace depicts Ronan, a genocidal alien tasked with finding ‘the Orb,’ a relic he’s been requested to find for the inter-galactic warlord Thanos. Thanos of course having been introduced in the end-credits scene of The Avengers and is briefly portrayed (albeit in a heavy dose of CGI) by Josh Brolin. Unfortunately super villains however don’t really carry much depth at all other than to carry out fairly simple themes. This isn’t necessarily the fault of Pace, who does everything he can with the role; but you don’t see really any depth to his character.

It’s one of the few shortfalls of this film, as the “bad guys” really aren’t shown being bad all that often. It’s a by-product of trying to balance an ensemble cast as the majority of the time is spent ensuring that enough time is spent on each of the 5 main characters. The friendship that emerges out of their shared struggle does feel rushed because of this, and it wouldn’t be noticeable if it weren’t for examples like The Avengers. A film that managed to get enough character development in for well over a dozen separate elements happening at once.

This element is clearly present in the fact that the film is rounded out by acting talent like Glenn Close and John C. Reilly. Their roles are so minute and insignificant that it’s hard to believe they’re even billed in this film. It’s an issue that you would hope is addressed in the next entry into this series.

But don’t worry… there’s plenty of sweet action to help you forget the plot advancement…

All told however, Guardians maintains a level of heart and humor that is consistent throughout. It’s packed full of just as many smiles as it has shell casings, and is well worth the early fan and critical acclaim it has earned. It will be a homerun for Marvel in the end, because it overcame the difficult task of trying to introduce a property that’s obscure even for even consistent nerds out there. As far as comic-based movies go this one is a winner, and is hopefully a sign of things to come. Superhero films tend to get too caught up in trying to take themselves seriously, and this is a good step back to bring a whimsical feel back to a universe that was drifting that way.

FINAL RATING: 4.0/5.0

Guardians of the Galaxy may not perfect, but it still delivers. While the pacing might  feel uneven at times, it makes up for this in a variety of other ways. There’s enough excitement in this film for anyone to appreciate, and its already announced sequel definitely has a high bar to match.